Study On The Effect Of Negative Emotions On Aliens
by jwbeckham
Summary: Yuki Nagato's thoughts and feelings as she accepts that she is going to change the world on the morning of December 18th and tries to understand why. Please read Author's note.


Author's Note: This is my first ever story. This story started life as a piece of creative writing for my Access course's project. I kind of got a bit obsessive on it and kept building upon it more and more until i birthed this mutated creature. The whole idea behind my project was to take a novel or series of novels that tend to use a single person narrative and to write a sort of behind-the-scenes moment using a separate narrative. I chose to write from the perspective of Yuki Nagato as she realises she is going to change the world on the morning of December 18th 2000. This was originally going to be quite a small piece, most certainly fewer than 1000 words. I was also going to do a scene from Mikuru's POV and Itsuki's POV but seeing as this one took over i decided to make it my main focus. I would just like to point out one crucial thing; I am not suggesting that Yuki is a robot; i don't think she is a robot either. From reading the books, manga and watching the anime, movie I've gotten the sense that she's a sort of disconnected data entity existing in a mostly human body, now I'm not arguing her status as an alien, merely suggesting that to me she also seems a fair bit androidy, so please refrain from bombarding me with comments about how she's not a robot she's an alien and the such. Please feel free to leave reviews, constructive criticism is welcome and appreciated. If i get a good response from this and if i can make time for it i might write the Mikuru and Itsuki equivalent.  
>Disclaimer: I obviously do not own the Haruhi Suzumiya series in any way, shape or form. If i did i would be running hysterically in circles and ensuring they were all translated and published in English at least a month after the original Japanese release.<p>

Subject: Yuki Nagato.  
><span>Human Observed Time-plane:<span> 17th December 2000.  
><span>Location:<span> North High, clubroom.

Yuki Nagato was the first to arrive at the clubroom; she sat down and briefly communicated her position to her creator, The Integrated Data Sentient Thought Entity. There was a brief moment when she considered not instantly alerting her creator to her arrival in the clubroom, it was such a brief moment that the humans of this time period were unable to quantify it as a measure of time. Such an unbelievably brief hesitation and yet it meant so many things to Yuki Nagato. It meant that she had considered not following her mission parameters, it meant she had wanted to do something _different_, it meant she believed she had _choices_. Yuki Nagato reached into her bag to retrieve her book, she opened it slowly and begun to read. For a being such as Yuki Nagato multitasking was extremely simple, her mind existed as data within a mostly human body, she could partition her data so as to have her mind running multiple operations with great variation simultaneously. While Yuki Nagato engineered such a partition, her body continued with her mission parameters:

1. Observe Haruhi Suzumiya.  
>2. Observe any data fluctuations caused by Haruhi Suzumiya.<br>3. Maintain the identity of Yuki Nagato.  
>4. Do not interfere.<p>

Whilst Yuki Nagato herself begun setting up a self-reflection sub routine of her memory space.  
><span>Subject:<span> Humanoid Interface. Observation model V2.34.  
><span>Cover Identity:<span> Yuki Nagato, 1st Year High School Student at North High.  
><span>Subroutine recognised addition to Identity presented:<span> SOS Brigade member.  
><span>Query:<span> Position as SOS Brigade member is not relevant to preprogramed AI code.  
><span>Query Acknowledged:<span> Membership of SOS Brigade is an integral part of human cover as well as main component for the continuation of mission parameters 1 and 2.  
>Query Accepted.<br>Secondary Query Presented: Acknowledgement as member of SOS Brigade shows several links to erroneous data in memory space, explain.  
><span>Query Acknowledged:<span> Built up erroneous data in memory space was unavoidable, memory data of July 7th 1997 shows previously acknowledged acceptance of the inevitability of the accumulation of erroneous data.  
>Query Accepted.<br>Tertiary Query Presented: Previous attempts to determine cause of errors was unsuccessful due to inability to activate cross-temporal synchronisation with this unit. This inability to synchronise was caused by protective measures selectively rejecting this units synchronisation attempts. This unit has now experienced 1,318 years of memory data. Attempt to locate source of errors in memory data.  
><span>Query Acknowledged: <span>Possibility for errors presented. This unit has experienced a prolonged time loop consisting of 14 days looped 15,498 times. This accumulation of unforeseen memory data resulted in this unit building upon original AI codes. This unit recognizes the introduction of several sub-routines in its behavioral codes. These previously non-existent sub-routines could be classified as erroneous data.  
>ERROR: Unable to access behavioral sub-routines.<br>Information: This unit has restricted its own access to any sub-routines of AI code classified as erroneous data.  
><span>ERROR:<span> This unit is incapable of restricting access to its own sub-routines, this is an erroneous judgment.  
><span>Information: <span>The events of 18th December 2000 are inevitable. This unit has identified these behavioral sub-routines as the most probable source for the bug which will cause this unit to behave abnormally. This unit does not wish to resist these errors.  
><span>ERROR:<span> This unit is incapable of operating with its own set of mission parameters.  
><span>Information:<span> The wish to allow the errors in this unit to continue are not mission parameters. ERROR. I am tired.  
><span>ERROR:<span> This memory sub-routine is now recognized as erroneous data.

Yuki Nagato blinked several times in rapid succession; she had not expected her own system to reclassify her sub-routine due to her statement. This must be the beginning, her memory data was starting to develop bugs. Without a clearly organized sub-routine with which to investigate her system Yuki Nagato was left with few options other than one which she had never considered. Thinking. Thinking about her situation without relying upon a sub-routine to classify her reactions and reasons. Yuki Nagato closed her hard cover science fiction novel and sat back in her chair slightly. She closed her eyes and began to allow her thoughts to shape their own ideas.

Identity: Yuki Nagato, 1st Year High School Student at North High, SOS Brigade member.  
><span>Information: <span>This unit is capable of identifying with itself as an individual 'person'. This sense of individuality exists parallel to this unit's connection to The Integrated Data Sentient Thought Entity. This unit is capable of identifying itself as 'Yuki Nagato' at a sub-routine AI code level.  
><span>Memory Data Analysis:<span> The repetition of August 17 to 31, 15,498 times, caused 'me' to first exhibit erroneous data. ERROR. Erroneous data is an incorrect term. Memory accumulation acquired during the events of the time loop caused 'me' to self-develop behavioral sub-routines. These sub-routines were a direct reaction to the accumulation of memory data gathered during the time loop. 'My' system reacted in a non-programmed response. These were 'my' first experiences with emotions.  
><span>Information: <span>Shortly following 'my' creation during the period of time 'I' spent in standby mode, 'I' was approached by individuals from another time-plane. This meeting culminated in 'me' synchronizing cross-temporally. Because of this 'I' was aware that 'I' would play a greater role than distant observation.  
><span>Self-Query: <span>The Integrated Data Sentient Thought Entity had access to 'my' cross-temporal data and was aware that 'I' would become involved in direct observation of Haruhi Suzumiya. Why did the Integrated Data Sentient Thought Entity not diversify 'my' behavioral AI code, if it was aware that 'I' would be playing a more direct observational role?  
>Possibilities:<br>1. The possibility of causing damage to the time-planes associated with these events, causing paradoxes or alternate sequential timeline anomalies.  
>2. December 18th 2000 is a predetermined event. The events leading up to this are likely to be more malleable but are also likely still predetermined events and thus any attempt to manipulate their outcome would result in damage or destruction of the time-planes.<br>3. The Integrated Data Sentient Thought Entity is lacking in organic knowledge. It would not be able to consider the emotional impacts the experiences of Humanoid Interfaces would have.

Information: These possibilities all possess validity.  
><span>Information:<span> Possibility 3 is shown to have previously acknowledged instances of occurrence. For example, the interface classified as Ryoko Asakura was given a more versatile Behavioral Interaction Matrix AI code. During her brief active assignment time as 'my' back-up unit, she was able to display convincing emotional reactions and attachments to the humans in her immediate vicinity. This was because she was given a more direct observational role in the classroom of Haruhi Suzumiya. This more direct role required her to be able to interact with humans and appear to be harmless and non-aggressive towards Haruhi Suzumiya.  
><span>Memory Data Analysis:<span> Ryoko Asakura's more versatile Behavioral Interactive Matrix AI code allowed for her to mimic very set emotional reactions. The emotional reactions and interactions that 'I' witnessed were as follows; appreciation, friendship, comradery, positive reinforcement and cheerfulness. She was also possessed of greatly enhanced communication and social interaction skills. Despite this, Ryoko Asakura joined the radical faction within the Integrated Data Sentient Thought Entity and attempted to kill the human known as 'Kyon' to elicit an observable emotion based data fluctuation response from Haruhi Suzumiya.  
><span>Information:<span> Despite possessing more enhanced AI code and social skills Ryoko Asakura did not possess emotions. Her Behavioral Interactive Matrix AI code and enhanced communication and social interaction skills merely allowed her to mimic previously stated emotions. Ryoko Asakura could not 'feel'.  
><span>Self-Query: <span>Can 'I' feel? 'My' behavioral sub-routines do possess common denominators with human emotions. But 'I' am not human; 'I' do not and never will naturally possess fully realized human emotions. The current level of 'my' emotional spectrum may never advance further than it is at this current time. 'My' current emotions developed from having spent over 1,317 years in a continuous time-loop. Because 'I' was unable to intervene in the situation without the authorization of the Integrated Data Sentient Thought Entity 'I' was left to observe the phenomena and its resulting flow of data.  
><span>Memory Data Analysis: <span>After six and a half centuries of memory data had accumulated in this state of repetition 'my' behavioral AI codes began to develop. Being trapped in the time repetition caused my behavioral AI codes to feel what 'I' can now identify as isolation. 'I' was the only one who knew about this time-loop for centuries, and for centuries I experienced the same set of pre-planned events with minimal variation. 'I' began to feel alone. 'My' behavioral AI codes were unable to process the feeling of being alone and logically adapted by building sub-routines based around this emotional response. This sub-routine was capable of feeling and classifying emotions. This process took 187 years, 3 months, 21 days, 13 hours, 6 minutes and 7 seconds.  
><span>Self-Query:<span> Could the bugs in my memory space be originating from the situation in which my behavioral sub-routines were first built? My sub-routines were built upon the emotion of isolation; the next emotion my sub-routines categorized was disinterested fatigue. The first true emotions my system recognized were melancholic loneliness and boredom. During their developmental stages when human beings begin to truly experience emotions they are exposed by others of their kind to situations which elicit positive emotional responses, this bears positive psychological results. When humans spend their developmental stages being exposed to negative emotions this generally results in negative psychological results.  
><span>Information:<span> Based upon this self-query I believe that I have identified the reason for the bugs in my system. My system has experienced prolonged exposure to negatively reinforced emotional stimuli. This constant exposure led my system to believe that the experiences I have had are directly responsible for my negative emotional state. If this is true then my system could be compared to a human psyche. I learnt emotions from negative experiences, the continuation of these negative experiences during the time-loop caused negative emotions to grow and develop. Due to the focus on negative emotional experiences and stimuli during the time-loop my system was unable to experience positive emotional experiences and stimuli. Following my release from the time-loop I continued on my mission parameters but I was now able to view them and my consequent experiences from an emotional point of view. I continued to experience emotionally negative experiences. My position as a Humanoid Interface meant I had to continue to endure these circumstances. My developing emotions meant that I no longer wished to simply endure my circumstances. I want to experience positive emotions. I want to know what it is like to feel happy.  
><span>Self-Query: <span>Have I identified the reasons for the development of the bugs in my system? Could the development of a human psyche like system within my AI codes be the only reason? Is it really possible that I want to experience positive emotions to such a degree that I will change the world and alter memories to allow for it?  
><span>Information:<span> No, under normal circumstances the development of sub-routines in my behavioral AI code and the subsequent growth of a human psyche esque operational system would not result in such a dramatic change in behavioral normality's. My system lacked a developed Emotional Matrix; because of this my system classified my emotions as errors. The subsequently unplanned for experience of 1,317 years of emotionally charged memory data caused my system to become overloaded and overtasked with dealing with its new developments. Because of this my system experienced a duality it was unable to cope with. My conventional system AI was not built to deal with emotions and saw them as erroneous data. My behavioral sub-routines were unable to cope with the classification of my emotions as erroneous data; because of this my sub-routines began to classify the reactions my system showed as themselves being erroneous data. My system was unable to cope with the duality of the classification of erroneous data and the buildup of sub-routines and separately operating systems. This is why my system began to experience bugs.  
><span>Memory Analysis:<span> On July 7th 1997 when Kyon from the year 2000 and Mikuru Asahina's time divergent self, informed me that the world had been changed and that I had made it possible for Kyon to return to the past, I attempted to synchronize cross-temporally, my attempt failed. From this failed attempt I was able to detect what I classified as erroneous data as well as several memory data bugs involved in the protective measures selectively rejecting my attempt to synchronise. At the time of this discovery I was unable to discern what could lead to the buildup of erroneous data in my memory space or the eventual development of bugs in my system.  
><span>Information:<span> I now know why I am going to effect change upon the world and the memories of others on the morning of December 18th 2000. I am lonely and I can't cope with things continuing as they are.

Yuki Nagato was awoken from her thoughts when her Particle Resonance Detection System began to recognize approaching decayed tachyon particles. Yuki's system quickly scanned the tachyons and classified them as belonging to the Mikuru Asahina currently residing in this time plane. Yuki slowly raised her head and angled it to face the clubroom door. Mikuru Asahina opened the door quickly, her head jerked from side to side searching the room for inhabitants, when her eyes rested on Yuki sat in her usual chair in her usual corner of the clubroom she let out an audible squeak. She quickly backed away until she was stood in the opening of the door; Mikuru clasped her hands in front of her and tried to stop her knees from shaking in vain.

"Oh, m…Miss Nagato, are you t…the only one here?'' Mikuru eventually managed to stammer out while fidgeting with the hem of her sailor suit's skirt. Yuki stared at her for longer than was socially acceptable. Mikuru Asahina was a normal human. She came from a time plane further than the one they currently inhabited and possessed an imperfect form of time travel, but she was still a normal human. Yuki eventually realized that her staring and total absence of blinking was making Mikuru's face turn red and her bottom lip quiver. She slowly and almost imperceptibly nodded her head in the affirmative. Mikuru's shaking calmed itself slightly; she moved carefully over to take a seat at the table in the middle of the room, keeping her eyes on Yuki constantly.

''Miss Suzumiya wanted me to get here early, she said she had an a…announcement to make about c…Christmas.'' Mikuru stood by her chair, not sure whether to sit down or not. Usually she would enter the clubroom, change into her maid uniform and then start brewing the tea but there was something off about Nagato-san today. Mikuru watched Yuki out of the corner of her eye to try and see what was different today, other than her previous bout of terror inducing staring of course.

''Ah, umm, Miss Nagato… you're not reading your book?'' It hadn't taken Mikuru long to realize what was so very different about Yuki today, although she had her usual accessory of a large foreign hardcover science fiction novel, it was closed. Without her eyes scanning the pages of a book and her fingers making the small gesture required to turn the page her focus was solely on Mikuru. Her eyes were watching her with unnatural interest and her hands were facing palm down on the front cover of her book, almost as if they were placed there to stop the book from springing open of its own accord. Mikuru's words seemed to alert something within Yuki as her eyes moved slowly from Mikuru down to her book. Yuki hadn't even realized that she had closed her book; she must have become so focused upon the strange experience of thinking for herself that she must not have been able to keep up her multitasking. Yuki allowed her eyes to drift back to Mikuru who instantly flinched.

"I was reflecting upon my thoughts and past experiences… I did not want to read.'' Yuki tried to be expressive with her words and place as much emotion as she could in them, she even chose words and phrases similar to those humans would use, rather than her usual complex and perplexing vernacular. Despite this her voice sounded completely lacking in expression and emotion to Mikuru whose eyes quickly widened and who began to visibly tremble in her seat. Mikuru had never heard Nagato-san speak that way before and didn't know what to make of it. Mikuru's trembling increased until her chair rattled on the clubroom floor, whenever Nagato-san did or said something she wasn't expecting Mikuru always begun to expect the worst and her terror began to set in. Mikuru begun to pale and make small squeaking sounds whilst clutching onto the collar of her uniforms shirt. Yuki turned her attention elsewhere. Clearly she was unable to properly vocalize exactly the way she felt, this might be due to her lack of understanding when it came to expressive and empathetic speech or possibly because of the bugs in her system.

Information: When I change the world and the memories of those within it I will likely be experiencing a high bug rate. Even if I attempt to express myself, warn those around me of my predetermined actions or seek assistance in debugging my system I while still inevitably change the world in the morning of December 18th 2000. I will likely also alter the memories of any attempted prior interventions.  
><span>Sensory Analysis: <span>Dimensional Fault Sympathetic Psychic Energy Waves detected.

Itsuki Koizumi would soon arrive in the clubroom, if he saw Mikuru Asahina as she was now he would inevitably have questions.  
>"Haruhi Suzumiya told me to play a joke on you.'' With this Yuki turned her attention completely away from Mikuru, she opened her book and begun to read.<p>

Subject: Yuki Nagato.  
><span>Human Observed Time-plane:<span> 21st December 2000.  
><span>Location:<span> rooftop, hospital.

Yuki communicated her position to the Integrated Data Sentient Thought Entity without any form of hesitation or resistance. The human commonly designated Kyon had discovered the program she had left for him. He had used this program to travel to the past and gather assistance from the Yuki Nagato of July 7th 1997 and Mikuru Asahina's time divergent self. He then travelled to the morning of December 18th 2000 where he attempted to use a Fragmentation Data Debugging Program. He failed and his time divergent self returned to initiate the Program and complete a predetermined temporal event. Yuki had fought her malfunctioning system to keep Kyon's memories the same and give him the choice of correcting the changes she had made. Her system recognised this as itself being a predetermined event but she also felt that she truly accomplished something in holding back the bugs in her system long enough to make a semi-rational logic divined decision. Yuki took in the landscape around her; the hood of the coat that Kyon had placed on her was causing her hair to fall in her eyes slightly. Yuki raised her hands to allow the snow to fall upon them.  
>Kyon had called her by her first name. He had commented that her name meant snow in another language just as it had begun to snow. Yuki Nagato had felt happiness in that moment. Her previous realisation that her system was unable to cope with the influx of negative emotions and that this was what had caused her system to develop such radical bugs was correct. The Integrated Data Sentient Thought Entity had intervened shortly after she had been returned to her previous state by her time divergent self and had altered her AI code. Her behavioural sub-routines were no more; she now possessed an Emotional Growth Interactive Behavioural Matrix AI code. This was as close as she would ever get to human emotions. Right now Yuki Nagato felt happy, as well as appreciated and wanted. Her very first true emotional responses were positive ones, she knew that the thought she was having was illogical but she had it all the same.<p>

Information: Perhaps having my first truly emotional response be positive will result in positive changes in my existence.

Yuki Nagato looked up to the sky, allowing the snow to fall upon her face. For the first time as a Humanoid Interface Yuki looked forward to the next day not as observational opportunity but as time to spend with her friends and her lips moved ever so slightly as she smiled for the first time.


End file.
